October brought two hospital visits. Severe dehydration & confusion. I learned a new thing – when the body is too dehydrated to IV, the next option is an IO, intraosseous infusion. That’s the process of going directly into the bone marrow when intravenous in not accessible. This process was quick.
The dehydration was starting to affect kidneys as his blood pressure was also extremely low, even lower than his usual 90/60. Needless to say, he didn’t feel well. When I took his blood pressure, his right arm was very cold, the left arm was still warm, but it eventually became ice cold too. It was as if conservation of blood flow had started. I didn’t feel his legs, but just asked him to get in the car. This time he didnt argue, but wanted to vomit first before getting in the car. My hand was on the phone for the next 2 minutes, which seemed like 30. In the adjoining bedroom, I told him that it was time to call for help. The other symptoms he had was being clammy and mid back pain. Even though there was no chest pain, I though he might be having a heart event. After 2 minutes I had a bucket & off to the hospital we went, which is less than 2 minutes to drive.
Heart failure is when the ejection fraction is below 40%. My husband is at 25%.
Follow up visits were good news though. While in the hospital receiving fluids, his cardiologist visited. The enzymes indicated heart attack had trended down. Due to the dehydration, they were taking him off his diuretics & all but one blood pressure medication. His blood pressure laying, sitting & standing was the best I’d seen it in a long time.
It was very frustrating for him to finally feel better and actually have an appetite, but still get out of breath so easily.
While in the hospital, swallow tests were given to determine how to help with choking on food. We have a speech therapist now coming to the home as well as an occupational therapist.
Chronic pain is not good for quality of life. He would like to get that pain back down to a 5. He purposely asked to go off morphine. He has now said he thinks it made him black out. The pain level has increased because of that. We now wait to try a pain clinic for other options.
My goal is to get a great quality of life with pain at a manageable level to not cause over confusion. It’s a balancing act.
I almost opened a business with my kids, we still could someday. The three of us were an awesome team of birthday party planning on a budget. I did it out of necessity, but I challenged their creative minds to do more with less. It has spilled over to my eldest daughter’s way of life. Totally budget conscious, reduce, reuse, recycle.
This type of planning probably won’t make us rich, but we sure had fun & the best parties.
One such party was held at our dog shelter. We played with puppies that were brought to us in a building just for our party. Our local favorite clown painted our faces like dogs or cats.
All gifts were donated to the shelter & each child ate special “puppy chow” from dog bowls. We went into the cat room & played with all the cats.
The kids goodie bags were little stuffed animals that they chose to adopt as their pet, complete with adoption papers. Human kibble (cocoa puff cereal) and “vitamin” gummies was included in the bags
Another really fun party was our spy theme party in the park across from our house.
My daughter’s friends always knew the party would be interesting & were up for anything.
The invitations were sent to each child by manilla envelope. Inside were instructions of the rendezvous point, time, address, date. It was written so they knew it was a mission: wear tennis shoes.
Upon arrival at our home, they each selected a brown paper bag. Instructions for their secret agent identity were inside.
The bags held supplies they needed including a little kid super hero mask. I took photos and printed for a later activity.
The mission was to find the spy training facility. Their first clue was to navigate through the laser maze across the street in the tennis court parking lot.
The lasers were red yarn tied & looped in such a way that careful planning had to be done by the agents to make it through without getting touched by the red lasers beams.
If they successfully completed the activity, another clue with given for the directions of the next location & activity. At the end of each activity was another clue and activity getting them closer to the final destination, a lot cabin in the woods that I had rented for the day for $25.
Clues took them down steps, through a path in the woods, around a pond, down, across a field & up a steep hill. Finally at the training camp, they sipped truth juice then immediately moved to the shooting range. Each agent was provided nerf guns, ammo and plenty of time to practice on each other.
Eventually, we moved inside the cabin where each agent was tasked with learning the process of making secret identities.
Potato Heads and accessories from Mr. and Mrs. plus a plethora from Disney characters were scrambled on the table for the agents to assemble bodies. No time limit and swapping pieces was encouraged. When finished they were displayed on the mantle and each given names.
The bomb cake (made by mom) exploded and nourishment began. All agents passes the course and were rewarded with their official ID cards.
Other parties included:
Clifford the Big Red Dog. We played go fetch the paper bones that were hidden in the yard. Perfect for the littles, pin the tail on Clifford. Everyone had their own headband dogears, ate Scooby snacks before a homemade Clifford cake.
Horse riding in back yard with a barn under our carport. Fence gate made by dad with lumber in garage. My friend brought her horse for the price of the gas of 60 miles. Kids took home their own bandana and cowboy boot cup.
Trip to Mars. Dad built a rocket ship for our living room. This was a super awesome party! I changed different lamps in the living room so when they traveled I turned on certain lamps for blue, green, black. Finally green. Little sis had make up on & dressy clothes & welcomed the astronauts to Mars. They were wearing white painting suits.
I made cupcakes & kids had to decorate out-of-this-world colors on their cupcakes. We ate space ice cream. I sent all their names to NASA to be placed on the Rover that Mars. I printed certificates for each astronaut commemorating that.
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My eldest heard that some people did not even have extra cash to give their kids a birthday party & it touched her because we had always had great parties using items we had, borrowed, bought on sale, found at Goodwill.
She wrote a local grant for her project and was awarded. She bought supplies on sale with coupons to make it go as far as possible & reached out to her community to see if any one had donations of supplies to help. Help was there.
She donated Birthday in a Bag to the Lord’s Cupboard. Each bag contained a cake mix, can of frosting, tablecloth, plates, cups, silverware, and a small gift. The Lord’s Cupboard was giving the eggs and oil.
Our love of animals was evident by a houseful. We had parakeets, a rescued cockatiel, and a parrot that we’d had since he was very young. Our dog had died Easter weekend. We were all broken hearted about that. No dog could ever replace our special boy. Lloyd had his 5th heart attack in June. We were a mess.
There was a German Shepherd mix that was being fostered for 3 weeks and he needed a permanent home. He had last been adopted for one week and sent back. The dog had been in an Omaha shelter. We knew nothing else of his life, but I was being called to meet this puppy.
I had a plan to get Lloyd active again by training the pup. He was due to have his shoulder replaced in August, so this could be his pre surgery therapy & after heart attack work out.
The little guy was adorable. I fell hard for him right away. I tried not to show it and let the family play and watch him. It was obvious everyone was in agreement. We just had to get some paperwork together and in a few days He was ours.
Zeus making himself right at home
We brought our new puppy home. Since we didn’t know his history, we gave him a break, but still crate trained him. He had been taught “kennel” by someone and immediately stopped what he was doing and went to It. I had to be careful with my words. I told my daughter to go to bed & Zeus went to his crate. He was a smart dog & we could tell very trainable.
Lloyd spent an afternoon with him one day and proudly showed off the new skills when I got home from work: sit, shake, down, dead dog. He loves dog cookies, but I have to turn the wolf picture away from him. The Bark Park is his most favorite place to be & he interacts with all the dogs, even the ones on the other side of the fence. He always runs with those dogs to make sure they get someone to play with too. Our park separates big dogs from little dogs.
I’m still not sure if we rescued him, or he rescued us.
No matter, having a dog in the house again is fun.
Having a dog reduces stress, makes us live and enjoy the now, gives us compassion, boosts your mood, increases exercise, and gives a best friend to tell our secrets to.
My spouse had his first heart attack in Oct. 2004 at the age of 47. Overnight our salary was cut in half. We had a 5-year old and an 11-month old.
Six weeks later, while sitting in the Social Security office filing for disability, he was exhibiting signs of another one. The guard notified me that my husband was in the restroom sweating profusely and looking very unwell. That attack was cutting off the blood supply to his intestines, called Ischemic bowel. The doctor described it as very much like a heart attack to his intestines & if not treated quickly the bowels could die.
My husband was left with severe irritable bowel syndrome and quickly lost 60 pounds, weighing a mere 114 pounds. I finally realized even the smallest jeans were too big when he was in the front yard watering plants and all of the sudden his pants just dropped to the ground. I bought a few pants and shorts from the kids department at JCPenneys.
It took two years and an attorney to finally get Social Security Disability. We didn’t have much to sell in the first place, but we liquidated what we could. I opened an Ebay store to sell my husband’s collection of car magazines one at a time. He had a garage of car parts and I had children’s clothes. We supplemented our income however we could. I made everything from scratch to eat. The kids had no idea we were struggling.
Birthday parties continued. They were at our house with everything made with what we had or very little expense.
My girls loved our parties. They planned them a year in advance.
The bills, the pressure. I’ve been a caregiver since 2004. He’s had 5 heart attacks. I don’t know if I gave my girls enough attention growing up. I tried to never miss anything. I was a room mother to both. I took vacation time off work to make sure I was there for them. I was a Girl Scout Leader. We traveled a lot of places that we never would have been able to. We had so much fun.
I decided I only get 18 years with the children, my chores will always be there at home. If we weren’t at the hospital, we were busy.
I’m sure 2018 saw my husband in the hospital at least every month except two. Been lifeflighted, ambulanced to different hospitals. So many obligations that I can never keep up with everything. Fourteen years of being everything to everyone had beat me. I knew I was struggling with depression when I was having a hard time getting out of bed. I’d come home from work & fall into bed, not waking up. One of the kids would make a sandwich or cook something. Weekends were spent in bed. I no longer had the energy to shop for supplies. I sent the oldest daughter out pretending it was a pre-after college experience to purchase enough to feed a family of four for three days. She did fine.
I kept it hidden from everyone eccept my mom. She knew everything and worried about my health all the time since I was now in bed all the time, fighting migraines. I sucked it up until 2019 when I finally went to the doctor to ask for help. Caregiving 101 is take care of yourself first. It’s just like the safety speech you hear on the airplane, you must put on your oxygen mask before helping others.
Put on whatever you need and just breathe. I see a huge difference in my attitude, my health and endurance. I still like naps, but cat naps are fine. I’m once again me.
Behavior started changing into what we just called whackadoodle. In another time, it might have been humorous. I would try to wake him & he didn’t hear me, so I would get right in his face and ask him what he was up to. He would just tell me he was sleeping or he didn’t feel well.
His normal blood pressure was 90/60 now, but often it dropped lower. He was dizzy when standing and fell down steps, causing the need for a cast.
Sometimes he was really confused. I just thought being in heart failure causes blood not to pump properly and confusion was part of the problem.
The confusion that I was now seeing was disturbing. He had an entire conversation with me after he vomited on his shirt and I helped him get a clean shirt on. He wanted to take off his monitor & kept calling it a t-shirt. On the table was a placemat that I had made using our daughter’s photo. He had that in his hand trying to figure out what it was. He called it a t-shirt. I told him it just goes on the table & it’s not a t-shirt. He would ask “it’s not the red tshirt?” No, we already put your red t-shirt on. “I threw up” as he attempts to take off his monitor off again and take off his t-shirt. No, we already changed. This placemat is of Kalina. “Kalina?, is she here?” No, just put the placemat of Kalina back on the table. “Ok.”
Something isn’t right, but is it life threatening? Do we need to be checked out?
Many times I took him to ER, as it was usually at night, to ask if his electrolytes were off. Being on lasix, and other diuretics, even though it’s potassium sparing, he still had low potassium & low electrolytes before. If the staff could not find anything wrong, per se, they assumed he had too much pain medication for his chronic pain.
Every time I explained that he does not have access to any narcotics. They are in a safe that no one in the house has the code. I hand him his medication every day and watch him swallow.
I guess since the heart doesn’t pump correctly the medicine doesn’t metabolize like it used to.
Sometimes he’s dehydrated or needs admitted. Twice he had bilateral pnemonia without any coughing or any other symptoms. I usually trust my gut when I feel something is not right.
Other whackadoodle things were just opening up the refrigerator and drinking out of bottle of creamy Italian salad dressing. (Gross, I don’t like that dressing). I asked why. He answered that he was thirsty.
He sleeps in a recliner & I’m in my bed. I keep my door shut. Lloyd would knock on my door at all hours of the night waking me up. He was ready for breakfast at 1 a.m. then it was…Hello, I didn’t get my dinner and I’m hungry (it’s 3 a.m. & he ate at 6 pm had a snack at 9 pm).
The best (?) one was the knock at 3 a.m. that asked me to help him with the plumbing in the basement because we had a leak. It was raining out, so this was a probable legitimate thing. I went to the basement and it was obvious he’d spent some time down there moving my full 5-shelf storage rack from the wall. It was now broken & everything on the top two shelves needed to come off before it all came crashing down. The armoire with my extra clothes was moved out from the wall, and all the dirty laundry was in the middle of the floor with a hose from the garage on top of everything.
I asked him what was the problem. He told me we had a leak from that pipe & it needed fixed right away. The “leaky pipe” was coming from the dryer which was right beside my shelves.
I thanked him for getting started on this project and said I think we’ve got it stopped for right now. I turned him around and up the stairs we went. I calmed him down enough to go back to bed. The next morning I put it all back together, secretly crying to myself, especially after he came downstairs and apologized for making the mess that he didnt even remember making. Not his fault.
Whackadoodle at 5 a.m. on a Saturday morning was waking up to a loud, really loud, beating of something in the house. OMG, someone is in the house! I jumped up to find my husband beating our living room wall with a hammer.
He needed to get the phone line out of the wall (it’s not in that wall). I take the hammer & hide it. Redirect to bed. We have no schedule today & I’m too tired to start the day.
Our college child had been kept informed of what was going on. Back for holiday break & I was gone, Kalina volunteered to stay home with dad.
The Lifevest is still supposed to be worn at all times, but he started to hate wearing it. He took it off in the middle of the night and we could hear it beeping & have to wake him up to put it back on him.
This day, Kalina could hear the beeping, so she followed the beeps. Opened up the refrigerator & low and behold found a very cold Lifevest. The LifeVest representative advised me to replace the belt since we didn’t know how long it had been in the cold or what the condensation would do to it. LifeVest rental cost $3,500 per month.
Behaviors continued with an early morning wake up knocking coming from outside. At first I thought it was just the wind banging our shed door. It was relentless and at predawn I might as well go close the door so I can go back to sleep. I was surprised to see my husband outside in his boxers, no coat or shoes on a very cold morning banging on the house with a plastic tote. The door was unlocked, so it wasn’t that he was locked out.
I said, hey it’s cold out here. Come on in. He just had a weird spaced out look on his face & repeatedly said “I’m okay.” I brought him inside, wrapped in a blanket & tried to assess him. The only response he would say was “I’m okay.” I again called the ambulance even if we are so very close to the hospital. He was again admitted. Possible seizures.
I started having a really hard time getting all my chores done for several reasons. When I came home from work, I usually sat down & immediately had a nap. Too many sleepless nights were catching up with me. I fed my family, then started laundry. I was usually interrupted by a crisis and then never allowed to finish a task. The living room was quickly becoming our holding room for clean, folded laundry that never got put away. That’s how it was on this particular morning.
At work, my cell phone rings and it’s my distraught husband. He has had to get off the ladder to talk with me. “She” hasn’t come back & maybe she’s just gone. I had to ask who “she” was. He insisted that I knew because Bob sent her. SMH, but I have clue what he is talking about. I had to keep asking to determine that a lady was helping paint today. She’s gone, he cannot find his paint or roller.
I leave my work to go home to find all my laundry in the middle of the floor with a step stool (one step, not a ladder) to the side. My husband sitting on the couch just looking so miserable because he has lost his roller and paint. “It’s perfectly fine, but look down on the floor,” I said. “Do you ever remember painting on my clothes like this before? We need to not paint today since I have all these clothes on the floor. Deal?”
He was okay with not painting & I guess continuing to leave laundry in the living room has worked as we’ve had no more painting episodes.
The one that finally got me to realize just what I was dealing with was when I walked in the house & saw a drill in the kitchen, extension cord plus a couple of drillbits. Lloyd walked in from the garage with a different drillbit. I asked him what’s up. He said he needed to make some holes in the floor over by the sink cabinet today. He could not remember why.
The drill, bits & extension cord all lived in my car for a long time.
The neurologist diagnosed dementia in December 2018. There had been an extensive evaluation in November when he was sent by ambulance to a Neuro intensive care unit. I was eating Thanksgiving dinner with my girls at the KC Hall when the hospital called to tell me he finally woke up from the medically induced coma to prevent continuous seizures.
I documented, took photos and video. The MRI showed atrophy to his frontal and temporal lobe.
Given the MRI & symptoms plus his young age of 62, the doctor said it was behavior variant frontotemporal dementia. After researching this type of dementia, the kids and I believe the symptoms started in 2015, but we didn’t know what was wrong then
So many out-of-character things make more sense now.
His MMSE score for cognitive evaluation has consistently been 18, dropped to 15 & most recently 21 after pain med adjustment.
The odd thing is every day is different. Some days are just better than others and we just roll with the good days. Every plan subconsciously has a backup plan or we just know there is a hospital where ever we go. The youngest had an out of state band competition that I was planning on chaperoning. We told Lloyd goodbye as we were ready to go. It was almost noon and very obvious that something was off. Confusion had taken over. Again. My girl looked at me and said that she’d be fine. I needed to stay home with dad. It would be 12 hours before I’d see her again. She is my Neurodiverse child, very grown-up on her part to give up mom for the day. The school provides an associate for her on the trips. The band director’s wife is part of the staff, and she is a special education teacher. I know she’s in good hands. No worries.
Lloyds long term memory is perfect. He just can’t always remember to eat lunch or drink 3-20 ounce cups of water.
My task right now is to keep him out of the hospital. The last two years has taken a toll on all of us. I told our insurance company today, we are trying to make his quality of life to be as as much out of the hospital as possible, be in his own home, happy & try to get help for the family to make those things happen.
—May God bless my family as they continue on this journey.
Please give me the strength to endure this situation and enjoy the blessings and lessons which it contains.
Please give me the endurance to continue ahead.
Please guide my acts, words and deeds so that I may follow your path of Love and Peace.
Your miracle may be taking a long time, but God didn’t bring you this far to leave you.
My Bible has become my survival guide. When I finally make it to bed each night, I open up my Hailey’s Bible Handbook and find a subject I’d like to read about. This handbook was my mother-in-laws, so it is a treasure to me. Whenever I had a question or wanted to discuss anything, she knew exactly which scripture to point me to.
The youngest has seen me reading in bed, except I had too many Bibles in the bed & ended up forgetting one until the middle of the night when I felt it as I rolled over.
People have asked me how I do what I do. Being a care giver will be one of the most challenging things I will ever do. There are so many great days. We have also had many hospital visits, admittances, and all the accompanying bills that insurance doesn’t pay – driving expenses, meals, medication at $10-$40 per prescription. He takes at least 18 every day.
When we said our vows in 1991, we didn’t enter into them lightly. Everyone knows it was nearly seven years of thinking about it. Because we said “I do” is the reason.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12.
After surviving the Widow maker, life just became new. New medicine, new cardiac diet, new rules. Life changing new rules. No worries, everything is doable.
The team of cardiologists told me some disturbing news. Lloyd’s echocardiogram – the ultrasound of the heart that provides moving pictures & info on the structure and function of the heart – had abnormal results. This massive heart attack did some significant damage to the bottom of his heart.
I knew it was going to bad news. The last I’d heard, his troponin protein level was at .73 ng/ml. Normal range is .04ng/ml; probable heart attack is above .40 ng/ml. So, tell me doc, what’s the news?
The heart was not pumping enough blood. It’s was only working at 25% ejection fraction (EF), that is the amount of blood that is ejected out of the ventricles with each contraction. The doctors informed us that the normal range is 50-70%. Lloyd’s left side ventricle is effected. An EF under 40% is considered heart failure, however with medication and cardiac rehab & exercise the doctor gave us a window of hope of raising that 25%. His blood pressure was now regularly at 90/60 – his new normal. As an educated guess, it was going to prove difficult to raise the EF because the medicines he needed to improve his heart function were the ones with typical side effects of lowered blood pressure, dizziness, confusion. Oy-vey!
Symptoms of low ejection fraction are shortness of breath, or inability to exercise; swelling of feet & ankles; fatigue & weakness; rapid, irregular heart beat; abdominal discomfort such as swelling, pain or nausea; mental confusion. The odds were like looking at a mountain top from the very bottom, so we will begin our climb from the bottom and slowly work our way up, step by step, day by day.
The scariest thing was being told that his heart could stop at any moment and go into cardiac arrest. The cardiologists had percentages of how many people with this EF would suffer SAC within 6 weeks. Lloyd would not be able to leave the hospital without wearing a defribillator 24 hours a day under his clothes, only removing for a quick shower. The company representative was on the way to meet and fit him with the LifeVest. Lloyd enjoyd calling it his manseirre.
LifeVest
If the electrobes weren’t hooked up correctly, it beeped. If you didn’t put the silver pads to the silver part of the vest, it beeped. The electrobes liked to have lotion on them, but not too much, or it beeped until you cleaned it. There were 2 batteries to always have a spare, because it beeped if it was low. The thing had an alarm that told you when it was going to shock the person. Stand back. Your loved one would more than likely not know they had been shocked, but it “kicked like a mule” so they might know & the blue goo would be all over. You should call 911.
All instructions were in the box. I put the reps number in my phone. Someone would be stopping by in a couple days with a couple more mansierres.
Feeling confident that there was no way we could mess this thing up, we left for home. The rep had told us that some customers were much more advanced in age & they had to be encouraged a couple of times, but they understood how to use the vest.
The first week home with the vest, no one slept well, except Lloyd. The beeps woke me up in the middle of the night, scaring me because I heard someone talking. I don’t know how he slept through it all, but he did. There were vibrations and voice prompts to test for consciousnes. The patient must press and hold the response buttons to avoid a shock. Whenever I heard it go off in the middle of the night, I had to rush out to the chair or wherever he was to wake him up so he could push the button and not get shocked.
Beep, Beep,Beep,Beep. No sleep without beeps. Eating with beeps. He could not ride the lawn mower due to the movement which might make the vest mistake it for an irregular heartbeat & truly that probably almost killed him. He got the push mower out and I caught him trying to push our half acre of lawn. He was so hot and sweaty. His heart was working way too hard in the July heat. I almost sold the mower.
When he did sleep, the electrobes got twisted, beep, beep, beep, beep. I tried to start dancing to the beeps like I was on American Bandstand – said it had a nice beat, kinda hard to dance to. I’ll give it a 5.
I’m not sure he appreciated my beeping at his expense. Sleep deprivation does funny things to a person. We all figured better to beep at home than not beep at all.
The vest was supposed to be a 90 day temporary wear. Then either his ejection fraction improved or he would get an implanted defribillator. We beeped for 6 months though instead of 90 days.
Hilarious, honest, highly regarded, well known. That’s Lloyd in a nutshell. He has fun, is funny & makes me laugh.
In elementary school, Lloyd had an interest in track. Mr. Roggentein dashed those dreams. “Boys who wear glasses can’t play sports.”
Since his father had died at age 54, when Lloyd was just 5 years old, his mother had not let that fact stop her son from learning about sports. It was HER in the back yard throwing the baseball for a game of catch, or HER showing him how to bring the football back to your ear, snap your wrist. This woman would watch a Chicago Cubs game on TV & listen to another game on the radio. Every Iowa game was on at her house, too. She was mostly definitely a sports fan.
In about about 5th grade, he used to play baseball games on the field behind Wildwood School with a bunch of neighborhood kids. Steve & Gary White, and Paula Stufflebeam were a few that I know. That was a time when not many girls played baseball. Paula was a year younger and a better player than all the guys. They sure didn’t mind if she was on the field. They all had a great time and were all friends.
He had been wearing glasses for a very long time, since 3rd grade. He had enjoyed sports, but since his teacher told him he couldn’t play sports in school because of his glasses, that was the end of that.
In 8th grade P.E. class, Mr. Gullion saw his natural speed and good running form & asked why he wasn’t in track. What a peculiar question. “I wear glasses, Mr. Gullion. Boys that wear glasses can’t play sports.”
Gullion told him to report to track practice. A lot of athletes wear glasses. Dan Gullion was just one of the teacher heroes that made a huge difference in Lloyd’s life! Thank you for telling the truth.
He started fueling his body & running twice a day. Freshman year and each year following, he ran varsity track 100, relays & long jump breaking school records plus, personal bests & Drake Relays.
Never did take off his glasses, Mr. Roggentein!
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One fall morning after early bird marching band practice, Lloyd, Scott Hutton & Doug Techel all piled in Lloyd’s car to go back to band at the high school. They were a few minutes late.
Hutton and Techel told Mr. Cameron they had a flat tire. Lloyd, however, was sent to Vice Principal Hammersley’s office, who asked the same question of Lloyd that Mr. Cameron had asked, “Why were you late this morning?”
The guys had made a pit stop, while nourishing and satisfying as it was, it made the carload tardy.
Lloyd gave the same answer to Hammersley that he gave Cameron. He simply told the truth. “I stopped for doughnuts.”
Dupy’s doughnuts were so delicious and just made everything better. Lloyd probably wished he had purchased one more to hand to Mr. Hammersley at that precise moment.
Hammersley gave the stern, dreaded vice principal look and told him how disappointed he was in Lloyd’s behavior. This act would result consequences. An after school detention.
Lloyd, ever the fast thinker, quickly responded that he’d take the detention, but he wanted the school to know that he rode with three guys, who he would not name, but just know that each one made up a story and told a lie about having a flat tire. They were not punished, nor given a tardy. “I’ve been completely honest, told nothing but the truth and am punished. You understand my confusion, correct?”
Score one for Lloyd! He was excused his tardiness, relieved of detention & told to go back to class.
Mr. Hammersley proved to be another of Lloyd’s heroes.
Respect is earned. Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is returned.
I’ve been hauling my “Girl Scout” bag with me forever. It’s always loaded with toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, brush, first aid supplies, including an a extra inhaler for me, plus other necessities like flashlights, tissues, etc. This bag goes on all school trips, all scouting events & is refilled often. My bag was filled with a clean shirt, snacks, change, a little cash & extra phone charger & I was off to the hospital. Alone, but with thoughts of another heart attack.
My instructions were to go to Mercy ER, that’s it. The 90 minutes drive gave me time to think back to Lloyd’s first heart attack in November 2004. He had called me on the road after leaving a doctor 20 miles from home. The road was hilly, cell reception was dropping the call. He kept calling and I would hear “heart…”…..”heart”…..”hurt”…”hear”..”help.”
When I figured it out, I blurted out for him to pull over and I would send an ambulance. He thought it was heartburn, but he would keep driving. I was not going to win an argument with him. I dialed 911 & explained the situation & said by this time he had to be close to the city limits, gave the description of the car.
I left work, calling him & didn’t get an answer. I was sure he had wrecked. I went to the hospital & saw his vehicle. He had driven himself & beaten me there. I called the 911 operator to let them know he was at ER.
It was a severe heart attack. A Cath lab was needed. No helicopter could fly due to the fog. We waited for ground transportation.
This time, the helicopter flew. I was worried, but yet I was stronger than 14 years ago. My knowledge of medical jargon had increased over the years & I had also learned to be more vocal, even demanding, if necessary, to find our what is happening.
Driving at this night gave me an odd, eerie feeling that I was all alone on the highway. I was so mesmerized in my thoughts and by the sound of the tires pounding the pavement that I barely noticed the flashing lights of the upcoming stop light just miles from the hospital.
The time went quickly and I arrived at ER. They had a guide direct me to the Cath lab where two cardiologists were waiting for me. I instantly liked their warm, friendly banter with each other discussing which one was more advanced in age. They were both the same age to me. I believe their attempt to put me at ease did just that as I giggled at them before our discussion took a more serious turn. Lloyd was 100% blocked on his LAD. I knew this was commonly called the widow maker heart attack, and I paled with fear knowing that many have not survived.
They showed me the pictures from the cath & explained the procedure of his new stents. He would stay at Mercy for a few days.
Right after stent placement. Happy to be alive
The nurses on the cardiac wing are some of the best I’ve ever seen. When I saw the tattoo of a heartbeat rhythm on one of Lloyd’s first nurses forearm, I absolutely knew that the cardiac nurses took their jobs extremely serious & we were at the best possible place for care. They brought a cot for me to stay right next to his bed & meals could be ordered in the room for an extra $6.
Summers are our favorite part of the year. When the kids were younger, we always had swimming lessons, softball, or other activities that seemed to make it always go too fast. June 2018 we had just said goodbye to our oldest child who had just left for the Boundary Waters for a summer college class. Cell phone coverage would be sketchy. This class would be taking two field trips – a short trip and a longer one where no coverage would be available until they were back at base camp.
Husband, Lloyd, would be home with our 14-year-old because she wanted to have an unscheduled summer. The last summer before she started high school should be long lazy days with no immediate plans.
The pool was inflated on the hot summer day, Lloyd was working in the garden, our daughter was cooling off on her lounger. Something about her dad’s actions didn’t feel right to our youngest, even though he denied anything was wrong. He was sweating profusely and complained of “indigestion.” As a Girl Scout since age 5, she knew signs of danger, but he wouldn’t let her call 911, so she called her grandmother – my mom. Mom called me and I made the 911 call.
After I got to the hospital, I knew this was different than any other heart attack. I was thankful that I had rang his pastor on the way. The EKG was first, blood draw, nitro, questions, lots of questions. Then the solemn face of the doctor, the ER doctor that we had seen so many times before. He knew us. That look. He, as gently as he could, told me that my husband was having a major heart attack and he needed to be transferred to another hospital. It was a STEMI, the left anterior descending artery (LAD). He would be airlifted. The helicopter was on the way.
Pastor had arrived and had heard most of that news. He comforted us and read passages, then said prayers. He was still praying when the crew showed up to take him. They, not wanting to interrupt prayers, and me, wanting to rush husband out the door…I asked if pastor could continue while the crew got him ready for flight.
I wanted prayers and I wanted him to have the fastest treatment before he went into cardiac arrest.
I watched the helicopter take off not knowing what the future held. The tears that I forced back now came flooding down my cheeks. My vulnerability was only allowed for a few minutes. I had to be the face of hope, bravery and confidence to my very frightened child. I would comfort her by telling her the truth that no matter what happens, God is with her father. She should remember to pray for the hands of the surgeons, be thankful that she knew what to do in this emergency & grateful for the helicopter pilots.
Her father loved all forms of aviation. We had been to a few aviation shows and museums and he had wanted a helicopter ride. This ride – this particular life flight ride just for him, was the helicopter ride he needed, but not the ride he always dreamed of.
Journey By Eskew 