Budget-Friendly Fun with American Girl Dolls

DO you remember all the fun & LOVE of playing with American Girl dolls?

My daughter starting getting interested in American Girl Dolls 15 years ago. Her dad made a tea reservation at the Chicago store when he knew we were planning a little surprise shopping excursion & made reservations. For fun, he asked the girls to bring the dolls Santa brought them. It was one of the best times, ever.

Our eldest girl took an interested to birds rather than dolls. An in interest that she made choices to get grants for college. She wanted her sister to be able to use the dolls, so she donated all of her doll clothes, shoes, horse & all of it’s accessories plus two dolls.

This started a fire inside our youngest daughter. As a Girl Scout since kindergarten, she had been doing good deeds for others all of life. We had personally, and with her youth group, participated in the Samaritans Purse and was aware the children have needs globally. We currently buy ‘bargains & treasures’ for ourselves, and thought we could find American Girl Dolls in TLC condition and bring them home to work some Eskew Magic on them. We have brought some pretty dead ladies back to life with some elbow grease cleaning bath spa, shampoo & set, some have needed a little polish remover; others have needed a little more lip color.

Our kids want to play with dolls, not just look at them & collect dust. They are in used condition, but are nicer to look at when you can comb the hair. Budget dolls with designer names.

I can’t afford all the fun stuff that comes with the dolls, but I’m creative. I might be able to make something for hardly any money. My kids & I used to be the Birthdays on a Budget queens. Get the theme a year in advance, know your budget ASAP. You shop it, make it, bargain & negotiate. We had this cute cabin in the woods for $25 for the entire day. Inside & outside activities planned for teenagers. It was fun to plan & kids had fun.

Summer of Covid

Starting July 1st, my days were free. Never having had that experience before we thought it would be fun except the world was in a pandemic, my husband couldn’t be far from a hospital & couldn’t walk far due to shortness of breath.

Our options were limited, but determined, we found a solution. We would visit local state parks for a wade in the water, be with nature & just be away from people.

Promenade home

I can’t believe how time has flown by since my last post.

Obviously, much has happened.

Caretaking is one of those things that comes up and you are never ready. My husband’s first heart attack was pretty severe 20 years ago. Our kids were 5 and 11 months. We were trying to file for assistance when he started having symptoms of another attack, only this time to his bowel – Ischemic Bowel was described to me by his doctor much like a heart attack, but to his bowel.

He lost 60 pounds very quickly & wore a bag of antibiotics.

I truly don’t feel like this family has ever healed from that! My mom was there for anything I needed during those icky days, mostly just a phone call so I could talk about something other than doctor stuff. She’d sometimes make a huge dinner of chicken & noodles for herself & bring the extras over for us. The kids loved Gma time.

Just about 3 years ago, mom was getting a little more than just forgetful. Her doctor called me to make sure that I’d be there for mom’s appointment. Alzheimer’s was quickly taking her memory away.

The girls, Lloyd and I had always included my mom in everything. She was missing out of her youngest granddaughter’s senior year of activities and it is still very hard for Janelle. No one knew how close those two were. They talked or saw each other every day of Janelle’s life.

Our last sleepover with Grandma was a Girl’s Only party at the nursing home. Her neighbor had just moved out so we had two beds; two chairs; and lots of floor space. The best nurses and CNAs checked on us all night. We all had a great time, especially Janelle.

Dad died on my brother’s birthday; and mom passed away on mine in 2023. It seemed like the right time for each to go.

Janelle always wanted to adopt a grandpa because dad died before the girls were born. Mom, let Dad Swing his pretty little girl and Prominade her home.

They were each other’s perfect square dance partner. Mommy had told Janelle that she wasn’t looking for another man, she already found her heart & she wasn’t about to start training a new man!! (To dance, right Gma?)

Taurus 2022

April, my birth month.

Born under the Zodiac sign of Taurus, The Bull. Taurus are said to be stubborn, intelligent, organized, very understanding, value honesty, kindness & hardworking.

I’m not sure which of those attributes, or all of them, helped this past April – month of hallucinations – month of hell.

It all started out seemingly innocent. A light flipped on at 11:53 p.m. waking me up. My husband looked completely frazzled & told me that we have a wedding to attend tonight. I guided him back to his room (it’s the only way I sleep). I convinced him that we would check our calendar in the morning, even though I knew no wedding scheduled.

He is up at 12:31 a.m. looking for his lost sandwich. His water glass is a souvenir cup from a restaurant. He has his drink, but said he cannot find the sandwich. I lead him back to the bedroom with a promise to look for that sandwich later.

I heard him walking down from the 2nd floor around 2 a.m. looking for the bathroom. Oh dear, only a commode on that floor. Two bathrooms on main level & one in basement.

Another early morning at 4 am, he opened the bedroom door, turned light on, off & shut the door. Repeated several times before going to bed. Repeated it again at 6 a.m. An hour later, he told me our daughter kept opening his door and peeking in, but not saying anything. Right, the child that loves to sleep.

The next early morning adventure was light on at 4 am just to be asked what color it is….no clue, but my answer of “blue” must have been correct. An hour later he is running through house yelling if mom has the phone; followed by ‘how much money did he drop in the living room?’

I started sleeping in the recliner after his hallucinations were taking him outside. The bus almost hit the house, then the car. There were many reasons to go outside between midnight & 6 a.m.

I stopped taking notes when he was convinced that he had stolen a car. That was very hard to watch him suffer. Never would he ever consider stealing anything. He wasn’t sure if he was working with the police department or the mafia.

The neurologist sent him to a specialist for another evaluation. Both agreed that he likely has Lewy Body Dementia instead of FTD. The hallincinations were calmed by helping him get more REM sleep.

April was so frightening for both of us. I’m not even sure we celebrated my birthday. Maybe it was frozen yogurt with chocolate sauce followed by a nap – two of my favorite things!

Be in the moment. Be understanding. Be kind. The person with dementia is not trying to give you a hard time, the person with dementia is having a hard time.

Do you really know what it feels like to be different

I interviewed a 17-year-old Neurodivergent girl to have her explain if she feels included and accepted or different at school.

Acceptance starts at home. We all should choose our words and actions wisely. A body in a chair is inclusive, but does that child feel included?

” I eat lunch alone every day We have assigned seats. I don’t know the people I sit with. I tried to sit with a group of girls, but I don’t know how to add to the conversation. I want to talk. I say a random thing. People stare at me then talk about other things without acknowledging that I’ve spoken.

I’m lonely. No one wants to hang out with me on weekends. No one texts, no one calls.

I’m a repeater, hugger and live with high anxiety. Sometimes I just don’t want to go to school because my anxiety makes me sick.

I’m busy in activities: band, choir, theatre, Best Buddies, Bowling, Tennis, Speech, Science Club. My grades are good. I travel with our show choir and help backstage, I volunteer to work in concession stands at football games & wrestling matches.

I always have an adult with me. I’m 17 & cannot go to the bathroom on my own. My associate asks me to hurry. The feeling to deficate is now gone. I’ll now be throwing up later because of constipation.

Is it against my rights to not be allowed private bathroom time to do my business? Maybe the school board should be informed.

I have learning disabilities & a way of being me. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. My teachers all have inclusion teachers in the room. Sometimes my work doesn’t get done & that’s an F. Looking at the grades, why doesn’t any teacher help me…when I’m not anxious and able to do my work, it’s A or A+ work.

I CAN do the work. I need help in coping how to live in a neurotypical world. How can I force myself to not be anxious that a racist person, like the substitute teacher who can never come back to school, will be on a bus, store or job with me.

My memory does not allow you to tell me once & I’ve got it. I’m a visual learner. I comprehend written material when read aloud. I read 2 to 3 books at a time & am a fast reader.

I don’t like the term ‘special education.’ I’m not broken. I just need to be taught the way my brain works. Using my brain doesn’t make me special and the tools be taught is still ‘education.’

I wish I didn’t have to try to hard to be “normal” to fit in to the neurotypical world & people just accepted me as I am, in all my fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, sometimes quirky, emotional, sometimes anxious neurodiverse me.

It’s easy to just be me. I love my collection of dolls, especially trying to find retired early Pleasant Company American Girl dolls before Mattel bought the company. I like so many music artists, but probably don’t know the currect hits.

I have knowledge about many subjects & want to share and learn. Social anxiety sucks.

I sometimes become so overwhelmed that I need to get away. If I don’t understand a complicated multi-step, I immediately become worried at how hard it is. I call myself stupid or just avoid the problem. Simple explanations are better. I like to be finished with my work & often have overlooked an easy step. I’m trying to focus on slow and steady.

I know many students, but have few friends. I’m included in school, but do not always feel accepted. There was no place for me on the cheerleading squad even though I was the flyer the past 2 years. I decided to try a couple of sports instead.

Different is just… unique. I want college, a career, success, family…you know… normal stuff, just like everyone else.”

Job loss & no insurance with medical needy

My dad was a gentle man. He was discharged from the U.S. Navy with a medical condition. He then began his lifetime career as the 3rd employee of a local company where my grandfather worked.

I gained work ethic from my grandfather as he sat in the shade on the weekends telling the family exactly what chores needed done, how it was to be done & if it needed to be redone. We built a pond, had chickens, lambs, fishing boat, and huge garden.

It was my dad, though, who showed me how to do the chores. I learned how to use a hammer & not hit my thumb at age 10 when we finished an attic & built a deck. How you take forever measuring so you know what you are purchasing at the lumber yard. We didn’t need it, but I learned how he used a slide rule while in the nuclear submarine. We would check each other on my homework – me on the calculator; he on the sliderule.

He showed me basic car servicing such as fluids & tire changing. Mom did not do these kinds of chores, but she was the domestic queen of tidy. Leave something laying around too long & it was washed, dried, folded. Other than self-employed Avon representative, her last job was 39 years ago before they married.

Dad died at age 60. He was on disability.

God bless my father’s company. Started by a business man & an engineer. My grandfather was the first hired to be the mechanic. He traveled coast to coast. Next was a foreman, then my father – metal burner later parts person & finally draftsman.

They knew my mother was too young for Medicare. There wasn’t extra funds for Cobra, and that was frightening. Not having insurance was the only option she had.

The owner personally helped her until she was old enough. Thank God she was very healthy! We are forever grateful for that company, the owners and the network of family.

It just isn’t the same in today’s world.

Budget cuts eliminated my job after 26 years. I’m 2 years younger than my mother was when my father died. My husband is disabled & was using my group plan as primary with Medicare secondary.

We have a college & a high school student, both with medical conditions directly related to dealing with their father’s two debilitating diseases. Of course they need counseling.

I read that the Supreme Court has been given an 82-page document asking to repeal ACA, taking away insurance for those with pre-existing conditions. Great! Haven’t even reveived my cards yet.

How frightening! Where should I pitch my tent because we will lose what little assets we have left.

My husband worked 31 years before becoming sick; I worked 44 years. We need health insurance. His lifeflight 2 years ago & hospital stay was over $120,000.

I remain positive & cheerful because I can’t change it. Bills will be there whether we have insurance or not. I will not sweat it because I have a family who needs my full attention now.

Like a Thief in the Night

I was a Sunday School preschool teacher who probably had more fun than the kids because after reading the weekly lesson, I always tried to use the toys/items at home to create a visual for the kids.

When I wasn’t teaching, I was in adult classes. We had a great mixture of folks that had been at this church since birth plus others who were new families here for work to brand new confirmed adults who hadn’t been raised in a church.

Our pastor had a way of telling stories so vividly that you just didn’t forget. We were discussing the second coming of Christ & how no one knows when He’ll be coming. If you knew, you would stay up all night & wait to welcome Him. Pastor told us how this to remind us He will come like a thief in the night, because again you don’t know a thief is coming, so you are not ready. He wanted us to live every day as if it was THE day so we could be ready & not be surprised or not be ready. Live a Godly life.

This had come in handy with thinking & talking about just living, but especially living with people who are sick. One of our kids is a worrier. She worries about her father’s health all the time until it just makes her sick.

I finally had to tell her that we are just not in charge. We are on Earth for a very short time. Live. Enjoy. Be Happy. Have Fun. Be Ready.

We have a parrot who does talk & a German Shepherd mix. The bird yells for my husband “Lloyd”….my husband will answer “what? Peggy, what do you want?” I hear my name & tell him & didn’t say anything. Sometimes he rings like a telephone & Lloyd asks if it’s the bird or a phone?

When I saw the ‘Thief In The Night,’ I just felt compelled to share a bit.

Don’t categorize people as ‘normal’

If some people are normal, does that make others abnormal?

Be careful with words. My child has said she wants to be normal. She wants to like the other kids.

I find her an extrordinary human being and wish more people were like her. She’s multiple neurodivergent and perfect the way she is.

Through her eyes, we explore the world with a new perspective. She is totally happy and confident with who she is. Has a sense of style fashion that pleases herself that may or may not flow with the current trend. Prefers shopping at second hand stores as much as possible to save money, enjoys the uniqueness & history of bargains & treasures, and by reusing and repurposing it helps the planet.

Although she has computer games. Ipod, phone, etc., nothing is better to her than finding a cozy nook to read a book – one every night at bedtime, and another one or two during the day.

History, reading & science are her favorite subjects, but she is excelling in Spanish.

She cares very much about her grades & is trying to maintain a high gpa to make National Honor Society.

She is first chair baritone in concert band & plays in the front ensemble for marching band. Plays 2 sports – tennis & bowling; went to state large group speech two years in a row; participated in individual speech; became a Thespian this year; is in science club, Best Buddies,and volunteers in her spare time – one being traveling crew for the school’s show choir.

My girl is the most empathetic person I know & with her Girl Scout troop 4 years ago earned a Bronze award for a campaign on No More Bullying.

She wrote two grants asking for funds first to help homeless people by giving Socks of Love, socks filled with personal care items; then funds to help homeless animals to find homes for 30 pets in 30 days.

Shocking that she wants to just like everyone else. She sees people surrounded by groups of friends. It is harder to fit in at this age. Difference seem to matter. She has lots of younger & older peeps.

She has an associate with her at school all day long. She has an Individualized Education Plan along with a Behavior Plan. She has rooms designed just for her at school if something overwhelms her too much, she may leave and go to her calm room. There is bean bag chair, weighted blanked, sequined pillow & figit toys, and a stress relieve pig.

I told her that grownups have had to learn to deal with their stressors too. When frustrated, they often get up to get a drink, take a walk, use the bathroom, or just take a five minute break. She is just learning what every adult eventually does.

Learning differences are just that – different. Not normal or abnormal. My daughter has a difficult time with rote learning. She thinks it’s a memory problem. It’s not. Her memory is fine. She has to be taught differently in order to remember it.

I remind her often that on the spectrum, there really is no normal. We have neurotypical and neurodivergent. All should be celebrated.

Always be careful with words.

It’s all in the way you look at things!

The bright side is often not the first thing that crosses your mind when things are bad.

Having children, especially those with anxiety & one on the spectrum, makes a parent carefully choose words to describe situations. I always have to find the positive & be positive. I need a booster shot of positivity.

For so many months I have been the caregiver, wife, mother, schedule coordinator, bill payer, driver, household planner, part time associate for our child & am full time employed. My husband and daughter have each been in the hospital numerous times. He became so dizzy dehydrated & low blood pressure plus short of breath that it was nearly impossible for him to walk 10 feet without being winded. Having my husband cooking while being winded, confused & dizzy seemed illogical as did showering or anything else. I often was gone from 7:45 a.m. to 8 pm Monday to Saturday & pretty tired on Sunday trying to keep up with housework.

Our air conditioner was replaced, a truck was broken & needed towed home from a different state. At one point Lloyd was taking 18 medicines per day. Each had a co-pay of $10, $20 or $40 every month. There was no extra money to hire help to come into the house. I tried to get Meals On Wheels, but there was no one to deliver a meal to him.

Palliative care is supposed to be available upon diagnose. He has heart failure & dementia. I asked for palliative care to give him the best quality of life & treat whatever we could & was told by his provider to contact a company. I did.

This continued to be a 4 visit approval just twice, then it was approved for a social worker, physical therapist, etc. Then again wait for pre-approval.

Insurance told me it was covered; however, now it was being called skilled nursing & we had to wait for pre-approval. Finally was approved, but it was for one nurse visit. Then we had to wait for another pre-approval. I was ready to cry…why was this happening? Neither condition had a cure or treatment. I called the insurance company in frustration.

None of this frustration can be shown to anyone in the house. I carry the burden myself so no one is worried or upset.

I have a weekend away. The company is not authorized to do any skilled nursing. I found a trained CNA to assist me.

After I return home, more doctor visits. Taking less medication has increased blood pressure, increased appetite, lessened dizziness. The short term memory is a bit better and confusion has improved.

4 days later he gains more than 5 pounds overnight. Confusion is worse. Take a diuretic. 3 days later, another big weight gain & another dirurectic.

The kicker here is that the insurance company has sent a letter that he is not eligible for home health aid. Doesn’t qualify for assistance for walking, showering, cooking or anything. Here he is, dizzy, history of falling, too winded to walk 10 feet, low blood pressure, doesn’t eat no matter what food is available & has no appetite & I am working through lunch & dinner….

The bright side of all this is he is too well to qualify for assistance. For that I am grateful.

There should be a code to punch in to qualify because the stress on this spouse is starting to crack my tough exterior.

Checking on bills today for my daughter from April to today, she had 60 claims that my liability (according to insurance was $543). The hospital bill I received for 6 of those claims was nearly $2,000. I have a $100 refund from an overcharge from a doctors office & a $5.10 bill that went to collections. The bills are driving me bonkers!

It’s all good, though. Living our best day ever, one day at a time.

“Let all that you do be done in love.”

1 Corinthians 16:14

FTD, the beginning

My husband is the kindest, thoughtful and most kind-hearted person I have ever met. Anyone who has ever met him thinks well of him and he treats every one with respect.

Things changed at home. He started calling me hurtful names. Started picking fights with me. Lloyd never liked to fight…in the past he would give up fighting & let me win so the fight would be over & we could make up & make out.

This was not the same man that I knew all for over 30 years. It just got worse.

He was always sleepy. He was disabled from a heart attack in 2004 & 2015, ischemic bowel, chronic pain from osteoarthritis, broken back & other back issues, so I expected some sleepy. He stopped doing chores, cooking for us, stopped showering daily (or even weekly) and often missed out on school functions. His car was needing filled up more often, and our checking account was not adding up, plus the kids quarter collection & tooth fairy money had gone missing. I never knew what he spent money on.

I told his doctor of the personality change. His doctor became my one of my best friends & saved my sanity. He was Christian and told me he prayed for our family.

The very first time we noticed something was very different was a holiday gathering with family. Food, wine, alcohol, soda, tea, water was all available. We were not even social drinkers anymore, but during the holidays we might imbibe in a glass of wine or a mixed drink. No one really saw him drink a lot, but he became very intoxicated had to be helped to the passenger side of the car.

The ride home was less than pleasant. I managed to pulled over just in time. We still had 15 miles to home. Bless the girl’s hearts for not screaming as the rest of the ride was much like an amusement park ride gone wrong. Window down, splatter flying we finally made it.

The girls were scared as they had never seen a person so sick.

He landed on the floor outside the bedroom. I put the girls to bed and assured them that he just had a wee bit too much to drink. The combination of medicines and alcohol made it affect him much quicker, but he would be fine.

He was far from fine. Laying in his own vomit, I was worried and afraid of alcohol poisoning, I debated what to do next. His breathing was so shallow, but he was not blue or pale. I turned his head so he would not aspirate.

I covered him with a blanket and just watched him breathe. I could not move him, so there he slept, the dog had to be kenneled because dad was sleeping in his spot.

I tried to recall how many drinks he had & I only recalled three – which was a drink an hour. Far less than this level of intoxication. Something didn’t add up.

I stayed with him for a long time trying to decide if he needed to have an ambulance or not. He finally roused enough to wonder why he was on the floor and why I was so angry.

He remembered nothing the next day and didnt feel well. We didn’t keep hard liquor in the house and rarely had beer in the fridge. Lloyd enjoyed a beer when he barbecued outside, but it was very rarely. Once before all this, his doctor had suggested wine with dinner. Wine makes us sleepy, so we said no.

His manners were gone, his habits changed, he didn’t seem to care about his family and our needs & happiness anymore. Whatever he wanted or needed always came first. Always grumpy to me. It started affected our marriage & as we approached our 25th wedding anniversary, I wondered if it should be divorce court instead. The apathy was so horrid.

The children suffered. They were saddened by the changes of their father and worried for him. I was torn as to stay and figure out what was wrong with him or take my children & go. The only thing that I kept thinking is “what would he do if it was me?” That’s when I knew that it was time to get tough & figure out what was going on. I knew he would have done anything for me if the roles were reversed.

I started taking detailed notes, videos & explained to the children that we needed to figure out how to help him. If they noticed odd things they had to tell me, even if he said not too.

He woke both girls up on a school night at 2 a.m. to offer them ice cream. He took a washcloth to Janelle’s face and baptised her as he made the sign of the cross one evening when I was at a work meeting. He sleepwalked to the kitchen and I caught him with a pan of dry macaroni and a wooden spoon, but no burners on. He was making mac & cheese. After that I took all knobs off stove & tied the cabinets and refrigerator shut.

His doctor’s office would take my calls at all times, fit him in, change medicines or tell me to bring him to ER.

We had a very rough couple of years before diagnosis where nothing made sense & we didn’t tell anyone. I tried to function normally on little sleep & was slipping into, what I didn’t know at the time, depression.

Our new normal was that nothing was ever normal and our family was in crisis.

Two heart attacks, a life flight, and numerous hospital stays and visits, he was diagnosed three years later.