The bright side is often not the first thing that crosses your mind when things are bad.
Having children, especially those with anxiety & one on the spectrum, makes a parent carefully choose words to describe situations. I always have to find the positive & be positive. I need a booster shot of positivity.
For so many months I have been the caregiver, wife, mother, schedule coordinator, bill payer, driver, household planner, part time associate for our child & am full time employed. My husband and daughter have each been in the hospital numerous times. He became so dizzy dehydrated & low blood pressure plus short of breath that it was nearly impossible for him to walk 10 feet without being winded. Having my husband cooking while being winded, confused & dizzy seemed illogical as did showering or anything else. I often was gone from 7:45 a.m. to 8 pm Monday to Saturday & pretty tired on Sunday trying to keep up with housework.
Our air conditioner was replaced, a truck was broken & needed towed home from a different state. At one point Lloyd was taking 18 medicines per day. Each had a co-pay of $10, $20 or $40 every month. There was no extra money to hire help to come into the house. I tried to get Meals On Wheels, but there was no one to deliver a meal to him.
Palliative care is supposed to be available upon diagnose. He has heart failure & dementia. I asked for palliative care to give him the best quality of life & treat whatever we could & was told by his provider to contact a company. I did.
This continued to be a 4 visit approval just twice, then it was approved for a social worker, physical therapist, etc. Then again wait for pre-approval.
Insurance told me it was covered; however, now it was being called skilled nursing & we had to wait for pre-approval. Finally was approved, but it was for one nurse visit. Then we had to wait for another pre-approval. I was ready to cry…why was this happening? Neither condition had a cure or treatment. I called the insurance company in frustration.
None of this frustration can be shown to anyone in the house. I carry the burden myself so no one is worried or upset.
I have a weekend away. The company is not authorized to do any skilled nursing. I found a trained CNA to assist me.
After I return home, more doctor visits. Taking less medication has increased blood pressure, increased appetite, lessened dizziness. The short term memory is a bit better and confusion has improved.
4 days later he gains more than 5 pounds overnight. Confusion is worse. Take a diuretic. 3 days later, another big weight gain & another dirurectic.
The kicker here is that the insurance company has sent a letter that he is not eligible for home health aid. Doesn’t qualify for assistance for walking, showering, cooking or anything. Here he is, dizzy, history of falling, too winded to walk 10 feet, low blood pressure, doesn’t eat no matter what food is available & has no appetite & I am working through lunch & dinner….
The bright side of all this is he is too well to qualify for assistance. For that I am grateful.
There should be a code to punch in to qualify because the stress on this spouse is starting to crack my tough exterior.
Checking on bills today for my daughter from April to today, she had 60 claims that my liability (according to insurance was $543). The hospital bill I received for 6 of those claims was nearly $2,000. I have a $100 refund from an overcharge from a doctors office & a $5.10 bill that went to collections. The bills are driving me bonkers!
It’s all good, though. Living our best day ever, one day at a time.
“Let all that you do be done in love.”
1 Corinthians 16:14
Journey By Eskew 